023

I may be this thing, 

you call human

I am composed of flesh

but my thoughts are deceiving

My friend and I recently partook in a hot yoga class recently. SWEAT. Just. Everywhere. 

It was my third go around. I am not a wrung out towel, surprisingly. 

A passing thought was; would this sweat be the lube if someone in here decided to have sex with someone else? Would they be wet enough? Would anyone with sweat issues decidedly have to abandon their fear because of their own state?

After the glistening, dark room filled with wet shorts and empty water bottles, we had lunch. 

Fresh vegan food never tasted so refreshing. 

Some Italian coffee and shared bites later, we discussed men and women in sexual, intimate and platonic relationships. This friend is a woman, and she exuded insight on one key difference between the perplexing sexes:

Men need to be needed. Women need to be wanted. 

Women don’t need to be needed, and men don’t need to be wanted. 

This landed, with a 9.5 or 10—

Men don’t need to be wanted, they need to be needed. That sets them up for a social bargaining chip with something like a desperate and visceral coin they can then use on and with others. 

If they are wanted, then they are expendable. 

Women have been expendable, unfortunately and unjustly, for far too long. They understand what needs feel like. If they are needed, they can feel a misuse of their power, and their agency. They aren’t there to fix or fill in smudge marks. They are not living their fullest life if they are needed. 

They need to be wanted, by someone who doesn’t need to be wanted—i.e. a man. It’s the perfect match. 

Women understand their innate competence, and look for a partner that won’t expend them. The male partner must bring the desire to the table, and want each moment with their significant. The female partner must bring the need for a companion who has the willingness to fix and mend. 

We men feel important because we are needed to fix a lightbulb, and the women feel important because their men take interest in what kind of lightbulb, and want to bask in the grace of the incandescent light. 

Gratitude and attitude. Poses and posture. Hot and cold. Female and male. Water and life.